


My Boys Notes

by babyben



Series: My Boys [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drugs, Family, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Trans Eren Yeager, Trans Jean, Violence, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:55:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8452492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyben/pseuds/babyben
Summary: These are the notes for my erejeanmarco au. These notes were originally typed out to a friend so if some of it doesn't quite make sense I'm sorry. I went through and edited some parts to try and make it make more sense.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys these are my au notes for the oneshots I will be posting

Jean’s Childhood:

So like there isn’t a lot about this, but first of all Jean is trans like out of the four boys in this house eventually three are trans and we also decided he fully transitioned. So he grew up with a nice ass family. Like his mom was a stay at home mom and his dad worked and he had a nice house and he came from money and shit was just handed to him. He’s French-American. His mother is actually from France and she taught him French, but his dad is from Georgia and he’s one of those you’re in America you speak English like fuck that shit. He’s harsh like Jean was always a disappointment to him. Like he liked art and he was shy and he only had two friends, Connie and Sasha, who he didn't really like especially when they had their first of seven kids, Kellan, at sixteen and seventeen respectively. Like they were juniors in high school so you can imagine how Jean’s dad felt about him hanging around a “slut”. But like Jean loved hanging out with Connie and Sasha, and he liked seeing them with their baby cause they had their parents help so they were happy and money was tight and they were young but they were happy and Jean was happy that even though he wasn't “a part of their family” for all of their kids they’ve always called Jean, Uncle Jean, and he loves it.

I feel like he came out around the time he was sixteen. He didn't want to tell his dad because he was afraid he’d disappoint him. Like he didn't think the same way he did about business, and school, and like the things he said to his mom. His dad hated that he wouldn't hang out with his employees kids or date their sons, but Jean didn't want it he was shy and introverted and liked his two low key middle class friends. He also didn't like that Jean wore boyish clothes and before he came out he cut off his hair cause his mom said it was ok. When Jean came out, his dad I think went off and was like this is my fucking daughter not my son and I refuse to accept a son and you’re still my daughter and his mom goes with it like she's immediately like “ok cool, mon amour. I still love you don't worry” So eventually his dad calls him “he and Jean” and it’s forced and their relationship split but he was ok it is what it is like he was shitty but I can’t do anything.

Jean struggles super bad with depression and anxiety. He was definitely suicidal at some point and he was picked on a bit for being trans (nothing too bad but since he struggled and still struggles with depression it seems bad to him.) I don’t think he ever acted on his suicidal thoughts but they were definitely there and definitely caused him a great deal of pain. When he goes to college, he goes close to home, not for money or education but because he wants to be close to his mom and his friends are going their because at that point they are about to have or have just had another baby, Bruno, so he wants to be with him and he can’t be alone. He goes for graphic design. Also, at 18 he immediately starts testosterone and by the time he is 20) he has had top and bottom surgery and is like yes.

 

Marco’s Childhood:

Well, first off, Marco is definitely Hispanic and he had that stereotypical Hispanic/Catholic mom. He is his mother’s third son. When his mom was sixteen, she had his oldest brother Mikel. His dad took off when he was very little, and she had her next son, Martin, with another man seven years later). Marco came along two years later and they had the same dad. Mikel did not like Martin at all and he didn't really like Marco either because they were close and they were full brothers and they “took some of their mother’s love” cause he was an only child for seven years and then he gets two half brothers within two years. Martin and Marco’s dad also left pretty soon after Marco was born. Mikel fought with Martin ALOT because he was born first and because Martin would take the bait and Marco would try and play nice. Marco was bullied a lot in school. Like a lot. While Eren and Jean are into anyone, Marco is very gay, and he comes out pretty young. Like eleven maybe. So he was a Hispanic, gay, Catholic in the South. He also lives in Georgia, about half an hour or so out from where Jean lives so they never cross paths until college. Mikel picked on Marco so fucking bad. Martin was bi or pan so he was just like fucking whoever, and Mikel was like look we are good Hispanic Catholic boys, I’m going to find you a nice girl from church and she's going to be Hispanic too and Mama will be so happy and blah blah blah, but Marco is like Mikel I like boys and Mama is ok with it. Like his mom found out and was like ok but does this prevent you from cooking dinner because it’s your turn. 

Marco had boyfriends and people talked but he was able to push past it and just move on like I don’t care it’s none of their business and I’m not letting it effect me. He is upset though cause Mikel calls him a fag and says he’s going to hell and shit like that and he just wants to have a good relationship with him, so he keeps letting himself be talked to like that because he wants to keep his family as much as he can. 

So Marco turns fourteen and guess who shows up in his freshman English class, just turned sixteen year old, Eren Jaeger, who due to previous problems in school, is entering school as a freshman. They become really close. Eren has been through some shit like a lot of shit. Marco can tell just looking at him that he's been through some shit. He has a ton of scars. Like a ton. His face is covered and he has a huge jagged scar on his nose that Marco knows has to be from something bad. His whole body is pretty covered and as the two grow closer Eren opens up to him a lot but not completely about his past. Marco’s mother invites Eren over for dinner and gets to know him and learns that he and his older sister live alone and she’s taking care of them. She offers them a place to stay and some food and money if they ever have trouble paying the bills, but Mikasa refuses to let Eren take anything but food. Marco can tell things are tense with Eren at home and he ends up staying with him for a few nights after a fight. The two begin dating and they are really into each other. Eren trusts Marco unlike pretty much everyone else at school, but junior year things become tense and Eren decides he can’t do a romantic relationship anymore and as the summer approaches he announces he is moving for senior year so it doesn't matter how they feel anymore they have to break up. Eren leaves and Marco is heartbroken. He’s really torn up senior year and things are getting tense at home. Mikel is coming around frequently with his wife, Sophia, his five year old daughter, Maribella (named after MArco’s mother, Isabella(Jean’s mom is Amelia and his dad is Greg)), and his three year old son, Madden, are around a lot because Marco’s mother is back with Mikel’s father after almost twenty seven years apart. Marco’s mother becomes pregnant and has her final child and only daughter, Mar, and her husband leaves her once again because he is unable to handle a child. Marco graduates and he plans on going to the same school as Jean because it’s the only in-state school and that is all he can afford. He is the only cis boy lmao.

 

Eren’s Childhood(And Mikasa too):

Eren, my poor, sweet trans baby Eren. He has had quite the life. His fucking existence was mourned from the moment he was conceived. He was created from a terrible act and seemed to carry all of the ugly terror inside of him. Nasty things seemed to chase him. He used to think that all he deserved was bad. Eren Jaeger didn't deserve anything good. Surely he couldn’t. His own parents didn't want him. The only person who cared about him was getting the same unspeakable treatment as he was, and he couldn't help but feel like he was to blame. 

Eren was a rape baby. Like John from Brave New World, his father was a douchebag, white rapist and his mother was a Native American. His mother couldn't cope with raising him, so not only was he a “rape baby” he was a “dumpster baby.” Yea that’s right, his fucking mom actually threw him away, and he ended up in a shitty orphanage where he spends the first seven or eight years of his live with Mikasa Ackerman. 

Mikasa was Eren’s family and he was hers. Eren was always a tomboy. He had Mikasa give him shitty hair cuts in the small, dirty bathroom on their floor. They hated the orphanage. Like they thought it was absolute hell. It was small and dirty and crowded and nobody cared for them and they were seven and nine so they didn't think anybody was coming for them, so they decided they are better off on their own. They decided to run away. Now let me set the scene. While our precious babies Jean and Marco are Georgia boys, Eren and Mikasa grew up in Nevada. They lived in a shitty ass neighborhood and it wasn't safe for an adult let alone two little kids. They live in a place where instead of calling the cops on you for stealing or anything really you were shot and killed no matter who you were or how old you were, but Eren and Mikasa braved it and they got a bright idea to steal a wallet.

These two precious angels made the mistake of a lifetime. They didn't have any experience. They didn't know how to get away with pickpocketing. They weren't thieves. They got caught, and this is the thing that ends up destroying them.

“Excuse me? Don’t you kids know stealing is illegal? You are going to go to jail for the rest of your lives do you know what they do to little girls in jail?” The man asked, a hand clasped tight around each tiny wrist.

Fear covered their faces.

“Tell you what, it’s ok. If you promise to come with me I won’t tun you in.” He grinned showing every single disgusting tooth in his mouth.

Eren and Mikasa nodded eagerly. They thought he was a nice man. Who could’ve guessed he would be so horrible?

They sat is a dirty old car clinging to each other. They were afraid. They didn't know what to expect. They didn't want to go to jail. He takes them home he sets them up with decent beds in their own tiny rooms with thin sheets and blankets, but it’s wonderful to them. They have a home and their own rooms wow. And this man he was so nice. He didn't let them go to jail, he took them in, he gave them a home and food to eat, but it wasn't long before he expected things in return. (I’m focusing on Eren right now so Mikasa does this shit, but this is about Eren and how he reacts so yea.)

Quickly he’s dolling these girls up in fancy dresses and insisting on putting bows in Eren’s ridiculously short hair. He always complains, “Eren you are such a pretty girl. Why don’t you grow your hair out?” But Eren refuses. At first he is polite and thankful (thanks but no thanks but still nice) but later on he is cold and distant and forceful. Once he gets them nice and pretty, Eren soon learns the price he’s going to spend the next several years repaying. Eren was raped that night and almost every night. He is seven years old and his big life lesson was know your place and take it. Not that he did. While Mikasa became complacent, she would come home from school and get dressed up and let the men do whatever they wanted and she would learn what the man, Kenny, taught them. She willingly became a drug mule, a thief, and a prostitute, Eren fought every step of the way. He thrashed and screamed and beat his little fist against the older men that raped him and they responded by being as rough as they could without leaving a mark. Don't damage the merchandise is something every customer knew. Especially Mikasa. Men loved her, though they loved the fight in Eren. Eren was more willing to steal and handle drug deals. He didn't feel worthless doing that. He broke. They both did. Mikasa became distant to anyone who wasn't Eren. She lost the ability to care for anyone else ever. Eren became angrier, tougher, and rougher. He fought and fought and kept fighting and the older he got the more trouble he got into. He was starved and kept from school and kept from Mikasa and forced to do more of the things he dreaded doing until he finally fought a little less. He grew up doing these horrible things and having horrible things done to him. He slept on the floor because the bed freaked him out. He spent two days a weeks at school but that was the most he was allowed to go off and leave Kenny without Eren spending his day on some kind of job.

At fourteen years old, Eren’s body wow, it was dreadful. No one had left a mark on him, no, but he hated the shape of it. Luckily he didn't have many curves because of his lack of a proper diet, but he had breasts thats for sure. They were pretty small due to malnutrition but they made him feel disgusted, The make up, the dresses, the bras, and bows killed him. He did somethings he shouldn’t. He bound with bandages when he went out. Most people thought Kenny had found himself a little boy, and Eren would agree, and then he decided fuck it he’s telling Kenny he’s not a girl and he’s not doing all that girly shit that came with being pimped out by Kenny.

So he comes home after doing some job for Kenny and he’s high on adrenaline and Kenny’s just high and drunk and oh boy. The words fly out of Eren’s mouth before he could assess the situation and the silence was deafening. 

“What the fuck did you just say to me?” He’s on his feet and across the room in moments and before Eren could realize what was happening he heard a smash, he face was on fire, and he couldn't see.

Eren was down. He couldn't get up. He was stunned, and Kenny was on him, beating the shit out of him. “You listen to me, little girl. You aren't a fucking boy. You are one of my girls, and as long as you are one of my girls you are going to do whatever the fuck I tell you understand.”

Erens whimpering. Eren who is normally so tough is broken on the floor begging Kenny, begging anyone there to please take him to the hospital, and Kenny just says, “And tell them what, little girl? Cause I’m sure as hell not about to let you walk in to any hospital and cause more trouble for me. Get the fuck out of my sight!” He was close to his face, screaming. Eren could smell his breath as his talked, and as he walked away he felt a kick to the gut. 

Mikasa pulls him to his feet and takes him to bed. He doesn't even argue about being placed on the mattress. Mikes tries her best to tend to his cuts, but he looks fucked up and his nose is definitely broken. Most of the major damage is his face. Its cut all to hell because of the glass and needs tons of stitches but they have to hope for the best. The rest of his body is just bruised. He gets out of school and work for awhile, but when he goes back to “work” his “customers” are no longer required to not “damage the merchandise.” He is sick of this. He fights like hell and he gets beat up. He gets hit. Men do terrible things to him. He’s been cut. He’s been beaten. They bit harshly any bit of skin they can get. When he gets a good swing or two and leaves some marks is when they go fucking crazy. They want to fucking destroy him and then Kenny wants to destroy him. Getting his ass beat is pretty much a multiple times a day thing. He also berates the men who come into his room. “Hey, so you’re a fag then? Raping little boys?” That pissed them off and people stopped coming for him. The worst that ever happened to him is when some man put his dick in Eren’s mouth and Eren bit the shit out of it. He swore he was going to die that night. Hell, Kenny swore he wouldn't be seeing the next morning. He thought he was beaten to death. He got better again, and Kenny finally said fuck it Eren can just do the street work, stealing and handling drugs, and Mikasa would take the extra men. That ruined her. She felt like she was protecting Eren, but she was pushed to her breaking point then.

Only three months pass since Eren’s first beating and the time they agree they need to get out. Mikasa wanted more for Eren and was afraid he would be killed. They agreed Mikasa would slip money out of the men who came to her’s wallets, and Eren would do some extra pickpocketing jobs on the side, but they were poor planners. They were caught. And it was the worst thing ever.

“Where the fuck do you think you are going? After all I’ve done for you? I’ve got shit on you punks that will destroy you. I will ruin your lives. Let me be clear, you will never be free of me.”

Beaten. Starved. Trapped. Alone. They spent another few months. By the time they did their next attempt, they knew this was their last chance. They’d be dead one way or another other wise. 

This time they made it they got on a bus and hauled ass to Georgia, switching busses many times. They were eighteen and sixteen, and had very little money. Mikasa found a cheap place in a not so terrible neighborhood, and forced Eren to go to school. He deserved to be somebody even if it seemed like it was too late.

He met Marco and of course got close. When Mikasa hears his mother is offering them things she freaks on Eren. Nobody gives you shit for free, Eren, You need to remember. No hand outs for them they were alright.

When Eren started dating Marco, things got rough. Mikasa hated him. She thought all men would try and use him. She thought Marco had an ulterior motive. They fought and Eren left to stay with Marco a few nights. When Marco became too much responsibility and emotion for Eren, Mikasa was happy because he left him and he wanted to move away from him. I also like to think around his senior year he ended up in the hospital for a fractured rib. He needed expensive surgery and it was very difficult to bind even with a binder because of pain. He almost couldn't have top surgery, but luckily he didn't do enough damage to prevent top surgery and he managed to pay for that by the time Jean and Marco finished college and he was on testosterone.

After he graduated high school he ended up undecided at the same college Jean and Marco were going to pretty close to Mikasa’s new home.

 

College/Start of Relationship and Family things:

Oh our boys. So Jean and Marco are interested early on in college. They go on a few dates when Eren shows his face to Marco. In the two years since they have seen each other, Eren’s changed, and wants to hang out with Marco. Marco still has feelings for him, but he also has feelings for Jean and doesn't want to be with Eren alone so he invites Jean along.

Jean and Eren meet on an empty bus on campus the night they are supposed to meet. Jean looks at Eren like “Holy fuck, I wanna bone this boy!” But Eren is pissed. “What are you looking at?” Jean is offended by this and one thing led to another and Jean’s bleeding a little and has a black eye.Eren has him pinned to the floor and he lifts him up by his shirt and says “Don’t look at me like that ever again” and leaves and Jean is pissed, but he’s a super sub so he’s like damn that’s cool he should fuck me but also damn he beat my ass so I’m mad. And they know two different ways to get to the cafe they are meeting Marco at so Jean arrives first and Marco fusses over him and Eren shows up and the two are like oh.

We haven’t talked much about college but Jean is the one who realizes there is a lot of tension and just blurts “Why don’t we all date?”

When they told their parents ok omg. Jean was easier he would bring the boys home and hear his parents talking in the kitchen like which one is the boyfriend and he sneaks up behind them and says both. Jean’s dad is livid. Gay, trans, polyamorous son. Fuck that. They rarely spoke and his dad talked so much shit and Eren went the fuck off sticking up for his boyfriends. He’s not allowed back into the Kirchstein house for over five years. Not until Elijah comes along. 

Isabella loves Eren, but Marco decides to tell her and the family Jean is his boyfriend. One night Isabella asks Marco and Jean if they are thinking about marriage and if Eren will be their best man, and Eren is pissed. He feels left out, and hurt, and not good enough for him. Marco just storms out to his old room and Jean is left with Mar, who is at most four years old, Mikel and his family, and Martin. Isabella asks Marco what that was all about and he breaks down and confesses. Isabella is like really Marco you kept that from me. I love Eren. Go get him now. Like she's threatening to beat him also she would do anything for Eren she always loved him. Marco gets Eren and comes back in and says “Mama, everyone, this is Eren Jaeger, my other boyfriend.” Mikel tells him though he's like the three of you need to stay the fuck away from my kids and it hurts Marco and Eren goes the fuck off and well it was an interesting dinner.

Alright let’s talk about Connie and Sasha. My true loves and their little (big) family. You know they have two kids, Kellan and Bruno, and they had them as teenagers. Well before Elijah comes along, they have three more sons. Jakob is two years younger than Bruno. Next, a year later comes, Izaak, and two years later, about two years before Elijah is born, they have a son, Emmett. That’s not all. When Elijah is two, four years after their last son, they have twin girl, Ada and Alison. Their last babies. Two babies at once is way too much for Sasha. 

Fun story, baby Emmett is the reason Eren, Jean, and Marco waited until they were sure they were ready to adopt. When Marco and Jean were twenty three and Eren was twenty five, they were thinking about adopting. They agreed to watch Emmett for a few days along with his four brothers and oh my these boys realize they are not quite ready to be daddy’s just yet. 

They wait another year and then decide they are ready. It takes another year to get approved and for Elijah to be born. 

They renovated their apartment in preparation for the baby. Like ok you walk in and it’s a decent sized kitchen and living room combo, and Jean has a little office in the living room so he can work from home whenever Eren needs help with the baby. On the left of the living room is a hallway is a guest room on one side, a bathroom on the other, and the master bedroom was at the end of the hall. On the right side of the living room was Eli’s hall. It was a small hall, but it had been an office. They moved Jeans stuff into a section of the living room and create a nursery and redecorate the bathroom for a toddler when the baby is older. 

Ok so they almost break up right before Elijah is born. Like right before. Eren is very forward and upfront about their relationship and their life and he feels left out and is trying to get more involved with the process because it’s been pretty much Jean and Marco so they are mad Eren is being so obvious because he could ruin this and Eren is mad he hasn't been included enough because he’s apart of this too. Words are said. Eren and Marco fight and Marco says he’s glad they didn't have Eren on the birth certificate and that Eren was going to be the one to ruin this family. That hits hard. He’s always afraid his past is going to cause problems. He has a temper and fears and people from his past that can all come to fuck things over for him, but hearing Marco who is normally so level headed say that kill him. He almost leaves. Almost. But he says that he’s in this and they made the decision together and he is the dad and Marco better respect that and then a nurse comes by and says excuse me cause the baby is literally being born they are at the hospital and they go see the baby and they name him Ellie and they are so happy and they love her so much and they thank her birth parents and are so happy to take her home and of course Eren breaks down and they promise never to leave him and oh my god. 

 

Family Shit:

I’m flying through the unimportant shit sorry.

 

So Eren is dad. Marco is Papa and Jean is Pere (but with the accent on the first e for french) 

Eren is so close to this little fucking shit. They are each others person. Elijah is Eren’s whole fucking world. Marco is the disciplinarian. You know when moms say just you wait until your father gets home? That’s Marco. “Elijah, just want until Papa gets home. Do you want him to hear how bad you’ve been today?” And little three year old Eli is like “No, daddy. No, pere. Please.” His little lip will wobble and he will burry his face in whatever part of Eren is closest to him. Leg, chest, side, whatever. Jean and Eren get a kick of that because Papa is a Hispanic parent and he acts like one. Elijah also learned not to mess with his Abuela either because she doesn’t mess around. Though Grandma doesn't mind a bit of mischief. Jean is really just a background parent. Jean love Eli and Eli loves him but they are comfortable sitting in silence. Their thing is French. Jean teaches him French and they have their own language and it’s incredible. His Grandma loves talking to him in French. Jean is so close to her they go there every weekend and Eli talks with her and eats pastries and he loves it.

Ellie turned to Eli pretty early. When he was maybe one or two. His parents did that. By the time he was five he decided he wanted to be Elijah. He never said he was a boy no one did. They just assumed it was a kid thing, though Elijah stuck. 

Marco’s mother loved Elijah, but he’s spoiled as hell and used to attention so being with her was hard because she had other grandchildren and she had to tell him “Eli, it can’t always be just you and me everyone is here to visit and we have to spend time together.” Which makes for a fun Christmas incident but I’ll explain in a minute. Martin was rarely around but was the cool uncle and he love Eli in his own way and Eli called him all the time to ask from postcards from wherever he was living that month. Mar was only seven years older so they were pretty close. His cousins weren't interested in him because their dad had turned them against Marco’s whole family. Mikel hated Eli like he hated Marco’s whole family and called him Ellie and told his kids too as well, but Abuella Bodt was having none of that. Mikel has also said horrible things to Marco about the “white boy” and the “Indian boy” he's fucking. He would also say super shit about the way they were raising their kid and Eren went the fuck off and then he went off on Marco like you can’t let him say this fucking shit.

Jean’s mom loved Eli and accepted him. Jean’s dad was harder. Jean spent thirteen years begging him to love his granddaughter and oh you always wanted a granddaughter and he wouldn't really give her the time of day, but when he comes out Jean’s dad refuses to speak to him. That hurts Elijah because he doesn’t get why he hated him because he hated him before he came out as trans. Also Jean’s dad blamed Jean for Eli being trans like Marco’s parents don't know anyone is trans and Jean’s parents don’t know Eren is trans because it isn't their business so when Eli is trans Jean’s dad is like look what you did to your fucking kid way to go Jean you’ve fucked him up.

Mikasa is the literally worse. She makes Elijah sick and Eren refuses to see the shit she does because he’s got her on a pedestal. She hates Elijah. She hates Marco and Jean, but she despises Elijah. Sure she didn't like her brother with these two men who could use and abuse him, but this kid, this kid tied him down. This kid kept him from running away with her and starting over just the two of them. She was rude to him and misgendered him and all kinds of shit because he is the reason Eren won’t leave Marco and Jean. Like yes Eren loves them and yes he’d want to be with them, but he’s more willing to work shit out because he has this baby and he wants to see grow up. Elijah hates that Mikasa hates him because Eren’s the closest person to him and he hates his only other family doesn't like him.

Oh jobs quick. Eren got an associates degree for general education but decided to do construction. He didn't care to go to school or study anything specific and it helped him take out stress and he could be there to get Elijah to school. Jean is a graphic designer and can arrange to work from home on days off of school so Elijah doesn't have to go to daycare. Marco is a boss of a big corporation. He’s in charge and Eren sucks his dick a lot in the office. Whoops. Eren also takes off for a few years when Elijah is born so somebody is home with him because they can afford it and they don’t want Elijah in daycare. (Eren won’t let strangers watch him.) 

Ok so I have some cute kid things. Little Elijah comes running into Marco, Jean , and Eren’s room and jumps on Marco who sleeps in the middle. He gets on his chest and goes “Paaaapaaaa.” And Marco will peek open his eyes because he’s pretty much already awake and he says. “Eliiiiijahhhh.” And Eli eats it up and laughs and asks for pancakes and Eren and Jean have hidden their heads so Eli and hopefully Marco can’t see them laugh so Marco goes. “Of course. Why don’t you get daddy and pere to watch some cartoon and play with your trucks.” And he loves that and he knows he can’t wake them up one at a time so he is screaming and jumping wake up wake up. And they are so mad at Marco and Eren grabs Eli and shakes him like you do to kids and he’s like “Why are you so noisy? Why are you up so early?” And Eli would laugh and Eren would take him and Jean into the living room and they’d turn on Spongebob and play with his cars while Marco cooked and it’s just so cute.

Christmas he’d sleep with them. He wanted to sleep by Marco and Eren because he has to sleep in the middle so he doesn't fall off, but he wants to be by his dad because that’s his dad, but Eren rolls over on him and Eli wakes them all up screaming and they have to move him between Marco and Jean because they don’t roll. And on christmas Marco tells Eren to take Eli into the living room and to not let him touch the presents or else Eren won’t get his present later. So Marco gets Jean up who doesn't even dress he’s in boxers with coffee and he’s grumpy and records things but doesn't talk. And while Eren’s waiting Eli is just talking 100 words a minute and he’s so excited and Eren holds him up and shakes him and he’s like how do I turn you off. And he destroys his presents then Marco goes to cook a little bit of what everyone likes but first he breaks off 1/3 of a cookie for Eren, 1/4 of another cookie for Eli, and hands the rest of them both to Jean who needs to wake tf up. Also you can see the living room clearly from the kitchen but Eren blocks Eli and opens his M&Ms candy cane and lets him pour the whole thing in his mouth and Marco sees and comes over and stands there holding the spatula and crossing his arms and Eren goes “Elijah!” and Eli spits them all on Eren who shoves him back a little cause ew and then Eli realizes what happened and he starts bawling because his candy is gone and he didn’t get to eat it and Jean goes to his stocking and grabs his M&Ms and gives it to Eli and whispers to him in French to calm him down and he is clinging to him and they go eat and he’s happy again.

Another Christmas one. So Eli can climb or knock down and put back up the baby gate and he’s five and he hears some things during the boys dirty talk. So everyone the entire damn family except Mikasa is there and it’s early Christmas Eve they do lunch and presents and then the next day after breakfast Marco is going with his family and Elijah to mass because well that’s his thing he’s not the most religious but he goes during holidays and he is a bit religious and he takes Elijah because it makes his mom happy and he doesn't complain because he is five and he gets food after. So anyway they are at dinner and he’s the youngest so his grandmothers are like is Santa coming tonight and Elijah says with the straightest fucking face “Well, he’s coming to see me, but I don’t know about daddy and pere. Papa said they were naughty and he had to give them a spanking.” And like everyone is trying to blow them off and Marco slams his hands on the table and he yells “Elijah.” And he gets all defiant and says “I can show you.” And he takes off to their room and goes to the drawer they keep a few tamer things in cause they try to lock the door normally to keep Eli out because he goes through everything and he goes to one of the drawers and people are still in shock so no one is coming after him and he grabs a paddle and some lube and a pair of handcuffs and he knows what paddles are like he only gets a spanking a few times because Marco doesn't like it and never with anything, but his friends have and he knows what it is so he brings it out and drops it on the table and Mikel and his family just leave and Jean’s dad goes to the car like he doesn't want to be there he hates this relationship he doesn't need to think about the sex and the moms are in shock and have to talk to their boys and Martin is rolling and trying to high five Marco and Mar has an idea of what that’s for, but she’s thirteen so some of its like oh. And Jean’s mom can’t look at him and Marco’s mom is dragging Marco into Mass the next morning and is being mom on him like you need to pray for forgiveness and he won’t let Eli be absent minded like normal like she’ll whack his head and be like uh uh, nieto, you are paying attention today you need to learn young. And Marco carries Eli in from Mass and sits him down because Eren’s howling he thinks its funny and Jean is laughing too because Marco’s mom is a religious old Hispanic woman and she’s scary. And Marco’s like “hijo, my sweet baby boy, (or i guess not cause he's not out at 5 but shh) you can’t do those things baby. Do not bring things from our room out to other people. And you don’t go into other peoples rooms without asking. Ok?” And Eli shrugs cause he’s five and he already doesn't remember.

One thing I wanted to add. Mikel is so mad Marco won’t teach Eli Spanish unless Eli comes to him. Like Marco doesn’t want to force him if he’s not interested because he won’t learn. And Mikel is mad like “So you let your white, fag boyfriend teach him French, but you won’t teach him our language.” 

Also this little boy with freckles like Marco and auburn red hair and he’s so precious. He’s the cutest toddler.  
hurt Eli he'd lose it I think he'd consider jumping in his car and going after him.  
I also think theres shows even can’t watch like it triggers him to see some things on tv so sometimes Elijah’s on the couch or whatever watching tv and Marco has to come out and be like hey you’re going to have to take this to your room or you are going to have to record this cause dad doesn’t like this like they’d have to make sure stuff they plan on watching is ok cause I feel like certain things put him back in a bad place and he would get kind of bad and like closed off. Their are a lot of things they can’t watch together because Eren would have a full blown panic attack. like Marco and Jean know and Eren talked to both of them and they respect that and they are like if I’m compelled to watch it either ill record it and watch when you aren’t home or i will go to the guest room or whatever like they have an agreement and they let him know hey I’m going back here and I’m doing this so knock first bae before you come in so you are cool. and i can kinda see like Marco tells Eli like look dad can’t do this he’s not going to be ok like I don’t care what you do but not around dad and I feel like Eli would make a fucking list of things he needed to be careful about cause he didn’t want to upset Eren and theres a lot of shit so he like writes shit down like hey dad is going to upset by this and i feel like he’d try really hard to be figure out what he needed to keep away from his dad without like doing anything that would upset him.

Heavy shit time:

So at thirteen Elijah knows who he is, but he doesn’t know about his dads being trans so he wouldn't feel ok to open unto him and he’s binding with ace bandages and like I told you Eren comes in and screams “What the fuck are you doing?” Like screaming at cussing and the neighbors hear and call Marco to see what’s up and see if they need to call the police because Eren and Jean have had two or three loud screaming fights so they are like are things ok. and Eli is scared and doesn't know what’s going to happen and Eren is like don’t you ever do this to yourself again you could hurt yourself and he tells him what he did and comes out to him and tells him he’ll get him a binder he’ll do whatever and Papa and Pere will do anything for him and he doesn't out Jean or anything he’s not like oh Pere is trans too because that isn't his business but he opens up about himself and they are emotional and Marco comes in and is like so what just happened and Eli looks at Eren like help me and Eren tells him and assures him things are good and Marco is is like he always called him hija so hes just like ok hijo listen to your dad or we will have a problem and he leaves and calls back “Also get your laundry out of your bathroom floor!” And Eli tells Jean himself and Jean is like ok cool but he doesn't say anything because he isn't sure if that would be weird and he doesn't know Eren did so he’s just like cool and its good so not very heavy but it was a time Elijah thought dad’s going to kill me

Eren kept his birth name like Eren has always been his name because he felt like Kenny took so much from him so this is the one thing he is going to be keeping

Little Elijah rubbing his daddy’s face and is asking him what’s wrong and like Eren wants to break down because like he doesn't want Elijah to ever know what happened to him and he never wants him to know that things like that happen and he is just telling him daddy got in a fight baby I’m ok don’t worry and he’s like so upset he’s trying not to break down because it’s an innocent baby question like yea his face is fucked up and he knows people are going to ask but he just thinks about it and what happened and that hurts and he’s upset because like Marco and Jean can tell Elijah whatever about their childhood and Eren just can’t say shit and he’s pissed and he’s hurting and he’s just hugging Elijah and he’s still rubbing his face and he kisses his face like when you kiss a kids cuts and he’s like “All better daddy. I fixed it and oh my god.” It’s so cute it’s the cutest and saddest little baby moment.

Elijah asks about Eren’s parents when he’s little and Eren just leaves him with Marco and Jean like no I’m not  
Ok so one time ever Eren almost hits Elijah. Elijah is a little shit like no excuse and Eren isn't an adult he reverts to abused Eren to Eren at Kenny’s to the Eren he never wants to be around Marco and Jean yea, but especially not around Elijah like he never wants him to see that shit. So Eren and Jean are mocking fourteen year old Elijah for his acne and and is like “Oh hey pizza face go put your bag back on nobody wants to look at your face” and they take the joking too far and Marco’s there and he’s thinking maybe eh should cut in but Elijah’s pissed and he comes right back at Eren and he’s like “Nobody wanted to look at your face that’s why your parents left you” And like it’s bad he knows it’s bad but he can’t take it back because Eren and Marco are both off of the couch so fast and Eren’s got a fist he’s ready and Marco grabs him around the middle trying to calm him down. And Eren’s still going for him but he’s standing still right now with his fist held ready and he says some fucking shit he says “Yea well looks like we are in the same boat your parents didn't want you either and I’m not even your fucking dad I’m not your real dad I’m not your fucking dad you’re a fucking piece of shit.” Like he’s screaming he’s cussing and Marco is squeezing him and whispering to him because he knows a good bit of what happened to Eren and he knows this a bad spot for him and he needs to calm him down but he’s fucking pissed like yes Eren has a right to be pissed but he just told Marco’s son he wasn’t wanted by his birth parents or by him and like that’s his kid so Eren is red and screaming and he just stops and he puts his fist down and he fucking walks out. And Marco tells Jean to leave Eren let him fucking leave and he’s going to talk to Elijah and he’s like look that’s shitty and I will comfort you but Elijah you were a piece of shit you know Eren doesn’t have parents you know that you don’t say something like that and then he comforts them and Jean does too and Eren is gone no contact for a week and he comes back and they won’t let him see Elijah and Eren and them try to work things out and then a few days later he comes back but he stays in the guest room and he finally goes to talk to Elijah and he knocks and Elijah opens it and slams the door in his face and Eren comes in because Elijah is going to be the fucking kid he’s fourteen and was just told some shitty things and he’s like “We need to talk.” And Elijah is like “I don’t want to fucking talk to you” And Eren is shaking and Elijah is terrified like Marco’s not here to protect him if Eren decides to hit him so he’s backing up into the corner and Eren is crouched down on the ground shaking and he’s not even talking to Elijah he’s just like he’s freaked he’s like “oh god no please I’m turning into Kenny I don’t want to turn into him please” he sees Elijah scared and he’s like I’m becoming him my son is afraid of me he remembers backing up against the wall waiting for Kenny to hit him and Elijah’s doing the same thing and he’s the same age Eren was and he’s so scared and Eren looks up and him and he’s crying like he’s breaking down and he says “I’m so fucking sorry Eli fuck I’m so sorry please don't hate me I’m so sorry I love you so much and having you as a son is the best thing I could hope for and you are my world and I love you so much please please don’t hate me” and like he’s breaking down and Elijah is scared but like this is his dad this is his person and he’s crying and shaking on his bedroom floor and he’s scared but like he wants to go to him and he slinks to the floor and he says “I’m sorry dad. I love you to please don't hate me.” And Eren’s even more upset that Elijah thinks he hates him and he just hugs him and he’s crying and he’s clinging to him and he’s praying let me be ok let me not be like that man and it takes some time but they get better and while Elijah forgave Eren that thing about his birth parents stuck with him and he is upset 

Eren leaves a lot when he can’t handle shit he just walks out snd stays gone for days and when they are having Elijah they are like look you can’t do that with a kid and you do that you're gone and he switches to locking himself in the guest room when he’s too mad and so when Elijah is old enough to be like where’s daddy and knock even if Marco and Jean said hey buddy don’t bother daddy he would knock and Eren would crack the door and let him in and lock the door and tell him stories all night until he calmed down and Elijah was asleep.

Elijah wanted to meet his birth parents and he knew Eren would feel betrayed and he thought Jean would think it’s dumb so he talks to Marco and convinces him to take him and he stays outside or near by to give him space and Elijah meets his birth mom first and it’s just her and she talks about her kids and husband and house and he can barely talk but when he can its to correct her from saying it is a little weird to meet my daughter after fifteen years and he says actual your son and she’s like um i had a daughter not a son you aren't my son im glad i chose adoption because i couldn't deal with that im sorry and she leaves and with his birthdad he’s similar but his wife and kid is there and hes so happy and he makes a comment that is like oh it’s good you are in a better place i couldn't have a trans kid and it hurst Elijah and he leaves and he’s doing that thing where he’s crying but he won’t let Marco know so he’s looking out the window and he is like you ok and he says im fine and he goes home and Marco gives Eren and Jean a look that says leave it and then a few days later he’s crying again and Eren comes in and he’s like dude talk to me you can talk to me and he breaks down and he’s like “Please don’t me mad and me please promise” and he’s freaking a bit but he says “Of course Eli I won’t be mad” and he begs “Please don't be mad at Papa please please” and Eren is super freaked out and he’s like ok but he’s thinking the worst did Marco cheat and the kid find out is Marco leaving and taking the kid what’s going on and Elijah says “Papa took me to see my birth parents.” And at first Eren laughs cause he’s relieved and so Elijah continues “They hated me they didn't want me you were right” and Eren is so upset and it becomes a he’s gotta bring everybody in like Elijah needs them all right now and he’s on the floor in front of Jean and Jean’s rubbing his back and whispering comforting things in French and he makes him calm down and they are all assuring him that even though its terrible it doesn't matter because they all love him and Elijah admits that he just wanted to prove Eren wrong and prove that they did love him and Jean takes his time to do the super parent thing and he gets on the ground and he is wrapping his arms around him and they don't know what Jean says but he’s got him happy and the others join in on the hug and they knock Elijah down and he freaks like I can’t breathe and Elijah is like we should get pizza I’m sad and Marco laughs and orders pizza and goes to talk to Eren while Jean and Elijah get their time alone to hang out and play and be kids

 

Eren has a lot of rules because of the way he grew up and because he’s afraid Kenny is going to come after him and fuck with his family. One of his rules is Elijah does not step outside of this door without one of us or maybe another adult that I trust to provide supervision like Elijah’s not running around outside with no adults he trusts and no being at friends houses without parents he can’t be home alone he can’t go to the mall or the movies without a parent and Elijah’s pissed he can’t even walk to his friends apartment a street behind him alone because his friends can go wherever they want and he can’t and Jean and Marco don’t understand it but they tend to go with it and one day Eren isn’t supposed to home for an hour half and there’s a video game store thats a twenty thirty minute walk away and his friends walk there all the time and he has the money for a game and he would be home before dad and please let me go and Jean and Marco agree they did it all the time and they live near Jean’s old neighborhood like five minutes away from his mom cause hes a mama’s boy. So they say “Alright you can go but you go straight there straight back and don’t fuck around dad will be home in an hour and half so you hurry.” And he’s like ok ok yes and bolts and he’s on one of the back roads that looks sketchy af walking to the store almost there so almost a twenty minute walk away from home and who does he see early down the road, Eren and he slams on his breaks and gets out of the car and throws him in and starts screaming “What the fuck do you think you’re doing? I told you you couldn't go out alone.” He’s screaming and Elijah’ scared and they get to the apartment and he says “You stay in the fucking hallway until I come and get you” and he’s like yessir whatever you say and Eren goes in and Jean is like “Oh hey bae, you’re home early.” And Eren’s immediately calm which is scary to Elijah and he says “Oh just wrapped up early. I missed my boys. Where’s Elijah?” And Eren expected Jean to lie. Marco knows things that have happened and Eren would never expect Marco to lie and hurt him like that and Marco speaks up and he goes “Oh he’s at Justin’s Jean will get him before dinner and Jean get’s his shoes to wait outside for Elijah and Eren’s face changes to kind of Nik’s pissed face that looks slightly happy and he goes “Oh really?” and he gestures here to the hallway and he goes “Look what I found in the fucking road. Elijah go to your room.” And Elijah runs and Jean’s like “I don’t get it I did it all the time he’s fine” and Eren goes “We could've found him fucking dead in a ditch” And Jean is like “I did it around here for years its fine” and it goes back and forth and Eren yells “Fine if he ends up dead in a ditch somewhere it’s your fucking problem” and he leaves and goes to the guest room

Elijah goes out on his own now and he goes to the store one day and its raining on the way back and he’s a little dumb and this car stops next to him and says hey I’ll give you a ride home if you want one and he’s like ok it’s raining and so he gets in the car and this guy asks him about his school an hid family and he’s like ok cool and answers and now he knows things about the kid and his family and hes like ok and he gets to the apartment and he parks and he says hey so tell your dad he should bring you to visit his father more and he gives him this ring and says I’m your dad’s dad make him bring you down soon and Eren’s watching off of the balcony and he sees this guy in a large fedora that hides his face get out of a car but then he sees Elijah and he bolts downstairs but the guy has taken off and he sees the ring and oh my god it’s Kenny’s ring he has an indent of that ring on his face from when he was hit he had nightmares about that ring and that hand and he’s terrified seeing it in his son’s hand in front of his house like he had his son and he screams “Give me that. Go get your stuff right now Elijah we have to we have to go” and he’s like fuck you you said you didn't have a dad and I’m not leaving and he bolts up to the apartment and into his room and he locks the door and Eren fucking breaks it down he’s already yelled and Jean and Marco get some clothes and all cash we have we are leaving and Marco knows somethings happened but Jean doesn't know much abut Eren so he’s like wtf where why and Eren tells Elijah to get his ass up and he doesn't so Eren hauls his ass up and drags him to the car he throws him in and does the child proof locks he's so serious about this and they are all like whats going on and Eren goes to Mikasa’s to tell her he’s here and she wouldn’t go anywhere unless he left his family and went with her and he wouldn't so she wont leave and Eren’s breaking down so Marco drives and Elijah is just stuck there and Jean feels the same because Eren tells Marco in hushed voices where they cant here and out loud he says I’ll come back for our stuff later if I can we are moving we can’t come back and Jean’s pissed like he’s forty years old that’s his entire life his friends family everything and he has no choice and Elijah’s like what about my friends and Eren’s blunt like you're not seeing them again and they drink through the night and they stop at a gas station for food and Marco and Elijah get out and Jean goes off like “this is my home this is the only place I’ve ever known and my mom is there and Elijah’s friends are there you can’t do this” and Eren is like “Fucking Kenny is going to kill Elijah” and he’s wild like his eyes are wild and he looks like he’s going to kill and Jean doesn’t know who Kenny is Marco does but Jean doesn't know shit and he’s so upset but like they shut up and drive and they end up in Maine and Elijah and Jean are upset and like Eren gets them set up and he’s going to leave and it’s 3 am and Elijah catches Eren and is like “Where the fuck are you going? Are you seriously going to bring us up here away from everything we know and then you're going to leave us?” And Eren sees he’s upset and he’s like I promise I will come back and he gives him some of his bags and he says “I need a few days I need to think” and Elijah says “Look you need to tell Papa or Pere I’m not doing that” and they are outside of the house and Eren says ok I will I love you and hugs him and they come in and Jean is just sitting on the couch glaring and angry cause Eren’s stuff is gone and Elijah isn't in his room and Elijah goes to bed and Eren has a talk with Jean and tells him he will be back and they work through a few things and Eren opens up a bit to him about what happened and why they left and Jean walks him out and at the door Jean grabs his shirt and he says “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” and he kissed him hard and goes to bed 

Jean threatens to go back to Georgia with Elijah and leave Eren and oh my god Eren feels like he’s going to die like oh my god he breaks down and Marco goes at Jean like why the fuck would you do that to him like you cant take his kid cause you are pissed like you need to understand it’s not ok and eren’s all torn up

 

Christmas in Maine is hell. They are all used to Jean and Marcos family being around and they are both upset and Elijah is upset and like Jean never had a Christmas without his mom and Marco is used to her siblings and mom and Mass and noise and he wants that tradition he wants the noise he wants the crowded people but he knows you cant do shit and Jean is like I’m not pushing it right now and Elijah gets his hopes up he’s like Oh we are going back right and Eren shuts him the fuck down like no I fucking told you we aren't going back so why are you trying to start something and then like Elijah sees his Abuelas pictures of Christmas and all of her cousins were with her having fun and he felt so left out and that was the absolute worse Christmas ever 

 

Jean’s mom is sick and Jean is trying to convince Eren to let him and Elijah go see her in the hospital and Elijah is really close to Jean’s mom and he’s upset and Eren’s afraid because it’s right where Kenny took Elijah and he’s afraid he’ll find them and he’s scared and he’s like no no no I can’t I’m sorry and Jean wants to just go but he knows he can’t take Elijah without making Eren feel better and they think they have some time to get him to come around so Jean tried is begging him like Eren it is a few days this is my mom I haven’t seen her since we had to leave and he can’t do it and Jean’s getting to point where he’s like I have to go and Eren has to be pissed and I get to tell Elijah oh I’m sorry dad is still scared you can’t say bye to grandma and like he’s looking up tickets and calling Elijah in to talk and Eren comes in instead and he’s like I’ve got to tell you something and they had gotten the call from Jean’s dad. His mom was dead and he missed saying goodbye trying to convince Eren it was ok for Elijah to say goodbye too and he’s so hurt like he didn't get to say goodbye to his mom and he doesn't want to just blow up like he normally does and he’s trying not to break down because he’s got to tell his kid but first he’s like “Eren you have to let him go with me I don’t care what’s going on let him come home with me to go to the funeral.” and Eren he gets the plane tickets and does the packing and Jean tells Elijah and he’s upset and they go back and Eren and Marco don’t go to the funeral they stay nearby because Eren can’t leave them alone in this place but he lets Jean and Elijah go alone and both boys know Jean’s family hated the two boyfriends and Eren wasn’t generally at the Kirchstein house so it felt disrespectful and Marco came back before they left to pay his respects and Eren draws the line at the funeral like Jean goes back to his moms house because he’s not going to be trying to go see his dad because there is no relationship so this will be the last time he’s in his childhood home and he goes to get his mothers things he wants and he has to figure out what Elijah might want because Eren is so paranoid that Kenny is going to know where that house is and he obviously knows about the funeral because they go out publicly so he’s like he already can tell we are here if he knew we left before Elijah can’t go Eren won’t risk it and Jean’s hurt but he’s not pushing things with him and Elijah is mad he complains he doesn't get it he’s like dad I want to go one more time I need to see it I want to go and he’s upset he can’t ever go to his home again and he cant go to his grandmothers house again and he's so pissed and that hurts Eren because like he knows Marco has been shaken by everything and he sees what’s happened to Jean and Elijah and he's like oh hes trying to ruin my boyfriends’ life and my son’s life and I cant do shit without allowing him to do worse. Like do I run away and try to restart a life for us and keep us safe or do i let us keep our old life and do things the same and risk him fucking killing my boyfriends and my son


End file.
